Great Ways to Screw with Your Roommate

Whether you are moving into an apartment, dormitory or a rented house, if you have to have a roommate, you might as well have some fun with them. The right prank, played at the right time, can really keep things loose while living in confined quarters with another human being, dealing with all the practical matters of rent, renters insurance, and utilities. And in the unlucky event that you have managed to rent a place with someone who is humor impaired, it’s better to know sooner rather than later.

Here are some of the best ways you can screw with your roommate. They vary from time honored classics to things you may not have thought about:

• The Choo Choo: When your roommate is sleeping, take a pillow (preferably a good, hefty one) and a flashlight (preferably a really bright one). Start making train noises (Chugga chugga whoo whoo) quietly as you slowly approach him. As you get nearer, gradually increase your volume. When you are right next to him, yell, “Get off the tracks!” as you shine the flashlight into his eyes and nail him with the pillow. One word of caution: even the most tolerant roommates are likely to seek retribution while you’re not expecting it.

• Shaving Cream: While there are literally thousands of ways you can use shaving cream to good effect, the best way is still dispensing a pile of it in your roommate’s hands and tickling his nose with a feather. This one has been done so much it’s kind of passé, but there’s a reason why it’s still funny.

• Renters Insurance: call your room mate up at work (preferably at the very end of her shift) and ask, in a sheepish voice, “Um, did we pay the renters insurance this month?” Then, make is sound like you got cut off. She’s definitely going to wonder why you’re worried about the renters insurance.

• Literally: Hey, if you find him or her attractive, and he or she will let you, why not? OK, there are lots of good reasons why not, but you can worry about that later. It looks like you’re going to get some.

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